Not Good Enough

When you say it's true, yes, it's all too true for me
But its just not good enough, no, not good enough for me
It's true, it's true, it's true, no, no
But that's just not good enough, no, not good enough...it never will be

Make the effort in your head, yes, it was all just in my head
For there's no you, no you, I know you
I'm there, I'm here, this is none of your concern, concerning me
You're there, I'm here, this is none, no, not none, of your concern

When you say, it's true, yes, it's all too true for me
But it's just not good enough, no, not good enough for me,
It's true, it's true, it's true, no, no
But that's just not good enough, no, not good enough...it never will be

I stare at a field of yellow tulips, two lips, how I long for yours
It's true, yes it's true, but that doesn't make it real
For I haven't felt them on my skin for so long
Is it real? If it's real, tell me, tell me everyday

When you say it's true, yes, it's all too true for me
But it's just not good enough, no, not good enough for me
It's true, it's true, it's true, no, no
But that's just not good enough, no, not good enough...it never will be

Not good enough and it never will be
Not good enough until you need me too
Not good enough and it never will be
Until you need to be with me like I need you

Reflection

I washed away my filth
And saw my own face
It burned red with my guilt
So humbled by shame

I stared into my eyes
But then cast them down
For empty, hollow strangers
Must not be found

For then it will be true
My being transformed
The only girl I knew
Completely undone

Found innocence, faith
Even hope restored
If I can ever look
At myself once more

My First Try

I was blinded by the light
of my own halo floating
Until you knocked it down
and wondered why it fell
Now 'm just an angel
in a plain girl's clothing
Wondering how I got here
Was I under your spell?

I was deafened by my ego
While my friends were crying
Calling out to save me
They're too far away
Now no one's around me
In the darkness sighing
Confused about what we were
What's now under decay?

How the hell did it get like this?
When did I begin to fray?
What was lingering behind your kiss?
Who are you? Why did you come my way?

I was psyched out by your status
Like some higher icon painted
Leading me biweekly
To distorted clarity
Now you sit and judge me
How I seem too tainted
To crowd around your presence
With my false purity

I was so numbed by your coldness
Though you let me feel your heat
Seeping out the window
Open showing me to fly
Now it might be over
You make me take a seat
Please forgive my weakness
This was my first try

How the hell did it get like this?
When did I beggin to fray?
What was lingering behind your kiss?
Who are you? Why did you come my way?

On my first try

I Will Miss Them

Don't tell me to hold my tears
I will cry them just the same
They will build up from it all
The pain I feel for your ignorance
The joy I find in my freedom
The light that now shines on my life
A spotlight of shame to some
The light of truth and knowledge

They will rush forth with strength
Enough to smear the dirt you see on my face
Then they will fade away
Like your faith in me
Evaporated from reality
Into oblivion

I wish I had the courage

To tear away these thick cloaks
Covering my soul
And be bare

Peel away crusted layers
Of my feigned confidence
And be shy

Strip myself of the knowledge
That lead me down this path
And be pure

Be released from these shackles
Weighted down by my fear
And be free

I already know

Just do it
You could you know
You would you know
You should you know

Just see it
You will you know
You'll kill you know
For thrill you know

Just live it
You had you know
You're bad you know
They're mad you know

Just be it
You may you know
Your way you know
One day you know

Song for the worried

Look down. You'll see me there.
I see your point. It's in my direction.

I sigh. Don't ask why.
Just be there for me.
Today, any day,
Asked why, I won't lie.

Please don't tell me to be good.
I need to do this on my own.
I can't just do what you would.
You're pushing me away from you,
From my life, my world, my home.

Look down from your crown.
It's me past debris.
Step here. Make it clear.
You've seen, I'm unclean.

Please don't tell me to be good.
I need to do this on my own.
I can't just do what you would.
You're pushing me away from you,
From my life, my world, my home.

Look down, you'll see me there.
I see your point. It's in my direction.